Next Life by Woody Allen

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You
start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you
wake up in an old people's home feeling better every
day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go
collect your pension, and then when you start work,
you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you're young enough to
enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and
are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high
school. You then go to primary school, you become a
kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you
become a baby until you are born. And then you spend
your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like
conditions with central heating and room service on
tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You
finish off as an orgasm.